3 Cold Emails We Liked and Why

October 23, 2014 Sam Laber

Writing a cold email is an incredibly daunting task. But with a little research, solid writing skills and the right tools at your disposal, you can be confident that you gave it your best shot.

Over the past few months, the Datanyze crew has received a number of cold emails ranging from ‘wow-that-is-really-truly-awful’ to ‘this-is-pretty-intriguing-I-think-I’ll-respond’. Below you’ll find three of the latter selection, as well as a few bullet points detailing what made these messages so successful.

 

Email 1: Research + Context = Meeting

Why it worked

  • Well-researched — the rep knew that this person just joined the team, where he went to school, and what previous conversations had taken place.
  • Personable — the rep made an effort to connect with this person based on a mutual life experience (living in a particular town).
  • Persistent — the rep stayed in touch with us over the course of 6 months, and made a note to reach back out when the timing was right (note: the timing was right).
  • Complimentary — the rep threw in a nice little compliment of our product, which always makes us smile :).

How it could be improved

  • Length — the email could have been a bit shorter. This one doesn’t pass the smart phone test
  • ‘Yes or no’ question — always end with an open-ended question. In this case, “Do you have a few minutes for a quick, exploratory call next week?” could be reworked to say, “When is a convenient time next week for a quick, exploratory call?”.

Email 2: The Consultative Approach

Why it worked

  • Facilitates dialogue — the rep asked several pointed questions in hopes of sparking a conversation about his product.
  • Asks for correct contact — in this case, the rep is not sure if this person is the right contact for an introductory conversation. If you’re not sure, it never hurts to ask!
  • Clear benefits — by mentioning recognizable terms such as ‘Acquisition’, ‘Engagement’, and ‘ROI attribution’, this rep makes it clear what his company helps solve.

How it could be improved

  • Relevant customers — simply mentioning that Datanyze looks “similar to many of the clients we work with” doesn’t inspire too much confidence that we’re in their target market.
  • Research — it doesn’t appear that this rep put a lot of effort into getting to know our business objectives.

Email 3: Humor Makes You Likable

Why it worked

  • Humor — the small joke about prospecting to a prospecting company helps humanize this rep and suggests that he’s done a bit of research on our product.
  • Examples — the rep quickly establishes credibility by mentioning that they work with other high-growth SaaS companies.
  • Simple explanation — In the second paragraph, the rep quickly gets to the core of what his company does and some of the different assets that they help produce.

How it could be improved

  • Length — again, length is a concern here, but since he established credibility early on, we were a bit more prone to keep reading.
  • Links — including links in a cold email can oftentimes trigger spam filters. In this case, it didn’t, but it’s worth removing to ensure the highest possible delivery rate.

About the Author

Sam Laber

Sam is the director of marketing at Datanyze. He's a big John Hughes fan who occasionally fills the DZ office with the sweet sweet sounds of 90s rock giant, Creed.

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